The Weekend

My thoughts on this weekend:

• Tonight, ESPN stations are airing Florida St/Clemson (both unranked) & Vanderbilt/Florida (will be a lopsided Gator victory over a 2-7 team). Our local ABC station is showing Cincinnati/UConn (UConn has a football team?) instead of Nebraska/Oklahoma (a legendary Big 12 rivalry with two pretty evenly matched teams). Nebraska/Oklahoma should be an exciting game, but I won't be able to see it because of the lame TV programmers who think this area of the country wants to watch Cincinnati play. We don't.
  
• Today, I am a Northwestern, Navy, Penn State, and LSU fan.
• Nicole has three basketball games today. We just returned from her first game, and will be leaving in a half hour for the next two.
• I am so excited to hang out with the ladies from my small group tonight. We are scrapbooking and eating Papa John's. I am hoping to stuff my face and get a couple pages completed in Ryne's never-been-touched baby book. I think he will like it when he opens his baby book and actually sees his picture in it.
  
• I am not looking forward to Connection tomorrow. The band completely stunk during rehearsal Wednesday night, and I am not sure if it will be any better tomorrow morning. There is so much talent there, but for some reason, it is not clicking. I sure hope it clicks tomorrow.
• Tomorrow afternoon, I will be attending our high school's fall play, Arsenic & Old Lace. Last time I saw this play, my oldest brother played the policeman in Bethel College's production back in the late 80s.
• We are having a baby shower for our cousin Joy tomorrow night. I am so excited for it! She now lives in Montana, so this will be the only time I get to see her baby tummy.
  

Extra Cash

One of the great things about working at the high school is the chance to earn some extra cash. Frequently, I receive emails asking for volleyball line judges, ticket-takers, SAT test proctors, etc. I take advantage when I can. Several weeks ago, I proctored the SAT and pocketed a nice wad of cash. However, that day turned sad as I had to leave the test a few minutes early to rush to the hospital as Curt lost his dad.

But back to the purpose of this post. Tonight, I will be taking tickets at the sectional championship football game. This is good for three reasons:

1. I get in for free.
2. I make money.
3. I can let my kids in for free.

At $5 a piece, it would cost $30 for our family to attend the game. Curt and I had decided that only he would buy a ticket and attend the game with my brother. Now, we all get to go. Of course, I won't see much of the game since I will be working, but once the crowds die down, I can view the game, or leave early if I or the kids get cold, and not feel guilty that we wasted $25.

Our Schedule

We are in the midst of four different sports teams. Nicole is playing on a 5th & 6th grade intramural basketball team called the Black Swish league. It is coordinated with our high school girls basketball program. She is also playing in a basketball league at the Elkhart Sports Center. Drew is swimming. Brock & Ryne are wrestling. They were involved in a basketball clinic ran by the high school boys basketball program in October, but thankfully that is over. Here is our basic weekly agenda, which does not include any extra activities that come with life:

Monday

• Brock & Ryne - wrestling practice 5:00-6:00 pm
• Drew - swimming practice 5:15-7:00 pm
• Nicole - Black Swish basketball practice or game 6:30-7:30 pm

Tuesday

• Nicole - sports center basketball practice 5:00-6:30 pm
  
• Drew - swimming practice 5:15-7:00
  
• Brock & Ryne - wrestling meet 5:30-7:30 pm

Wednesday

• Nicole & Drew - Younger Generation (elementary show choir) rehearsal 3:00-4:15 pm
• All of us - Church 6:45-8:00 pm
  
• Shelley - Connection worship band practice 8:00-10:00 pm

Thursday

• Drew - swimming practice 5:15-7:00 pm
  
• Brock & Ryne - wrestling meet 5:30-7:30 pm
• Nicole - Black Swish basketball practice or game 6:30-7:30 pm

Friday:

• Drew - swimming practice 5:15-7:00 pm if he has a swim meet that weekend
  

Saturdays:

• AM - Swim meet, Black Swish basketball game
• PM - Sports center double-header basketball games

Sundays:

• AM - Swim meet (although we are limiting Drew's Sunday morning swim meets to just a handful)
• PM - Sports center double-header basketball games

The bad news:

• We are not home before 7:30 pm every night.
• Come January, Drew will still be swimming and all four kids will be playing Upward basketball.
• Nicole did a tryout for a travel softball team that will start practicing in January, but so far we don't know if she made it or not.

The good news:

• Wrestling ends right before Thanksgiving.
• Black Swish basketball ends the 2nd week of December.
• Sports Center basketball ends before Christmas.
• Swimming ends in February.
• Upward basketball ends in March.
• Little League doesn't start until the end of April, giving us about 3 weeks off from sports unless Nicole makes the travel softball team.
• Maybe Nicole won't make the travel softball team. Just kidding!
  

I'm back. Well, maybe.

Okay, so I am surprised that more than two people actually read this blog. I'm honored that many people read this blog and let me know they missed it. So I am back, at least temporarily, to explain why my blog went missing for three weeks. One word: submission.

See, my hubby never really like that I had a blog. He is a pretty private person, and he didn't like that his life was so public. So I finally decided to be a submissive wife and deleted the blog. After I deleted it, he told me that I didn't have to. What? So I'm confused as to whether I am allowed to have a blog or not, and while I await my husband's decision, I have resurrected the blog to explain why it disappeared. And also so I can convince my husband to let me write one again. It's been driving me crazy! So much has happened, and facebook's limited characters just doesn't do it justice.

So, the blog is up. At least for now. And if it disappears again, please know that I didn't win on appeal.

The Final Goodbye

Today we will bury Curt's dad. This will be our final goodbye. As we go back to that same cemetery where so many of our loved ones are buried, I ache with the pain of it all. Curt's dad will be buried right next to Curt's Uncle Kip. These two men have had a significant impact on shaping Curt into the man he has become. To lose both of them in just a few months is so difficult. Also near Curt's dad will be our dear friend Lisa and our dear friends' baby Aleigha. So much grief in the past year, so much love for these who have left us, and so much love and hurt for those who are still grieving the loss of their loved ones. We are grieving with them, as we love all of them so much.

More Things I Learned

Two profound things I learned today as we said goodbye to Curt's dad:

1. I feel so loved. I am in awe of how many people showered us with love these past few days. Whether through a kind word, note, card, text, facebook message, flowers, food, a hug, or simply their presence at the hospital, viewing, or funeral, I can never put to words the love I have felt. "Thank you" just doesn't seem appropriate. Words truly cannot express how blessed I am by the people who reached out to us over these difficult five days. You may not have thought your quick visit to the viewing was much, but it spoke volumes to us. That trip to the hospital you made to be with us at our lowest point gave us the strength we needed to face the next day. The hugs you gave and the tears you cried with us at the viewing or funeral showed us that we were loved. That card you sent, the text or facebook message you typed, the plant you ordered, the food you prepared, the viewing or funeral dinner you served & cleaned up, the kind words, the "I love you"s. Even simple things such as helping us load our car or taking our kids to their sports practices. All of that. It may not seem like much to you, but to us, it meant the world. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All of it was noticed. All of it was appreciated. All of it helped us through these dark days. All of it. Thank you, all of you. You will never know how much it meant to us. We are truly thankful and blessed.
2. Losing someone shows you who your real friends are. I have amazing God-given friends & family whose compassion, kindness, service, and sympathy were there for me. Even those friends & family who couldn't be with us in person made a special effort to show their love by remembering us with a simple card or basket of flowers. And those friends & family who could be with us in person showered us with so much love that I am in awe. I needed them these past five days, and they were there for me. Wow. I am blessed.
   

Things I Have Learned Through the Process

Here are some key things I have learned through the process of making arrangements for Curt's dad and getting things ready for the viewing & funeral:

1. You can never take too many pictures. Even if that means your daughter-in-law will one day sit at her computer for close to 18 hours scanning them all in, you can never take too many. And with the invention of digital cameras, your daughter-in-law may not have to actually sit there and scan them. She can just sift through your flash drive or computer files. In fact, do her a favor by getting them all organized into chronological files. Although Curt's dad didn't have a digital camera or take a lot of pictures, I was able to borrow hundreds of pictures from family members and scan them. Only a fraction of the pictures I scanned will be in the slideshow, but now Curt and I have every picture of his dad saved onto our computer. That's priceless.
2. Guys should take pictures of every car they own. Curt's dad did. There were 11 of them from the time he received his driver's license until Curt's parents divorced. And Curt's mom had pictures of every single one. That's cool.
3. Gals should take pictures of their little ones sleeping in their daddy's arms. I found one of Curt and his dad. That's precious.
   
4. There is musical talent on Curt's side of the family. His dad played guitar and sang in a band called The Tarantula's. And I have the pictures to prove that he was a rockstar. That's awesome.
5. Brock is a spitting image of Curt's dad. Except for the ears.
6. Ryne is a spitting image of his own dad. Including the ears.
7. Preplan your funeral. And if your loved one didn't, don't think it will only take a couple of hours to get everything together. 60 years of life cannot be sifted through in hours.
8. Savor the moments with your spouse as you go through their parent's stuff. It may be painful, but it is moments like these that bond you together.
9. Be a packrat. Curt's dad was. I have his rock collection, pocketknives, frontier outfit, cowboys & indians toys, puzzles, baby book, the funeral book & sympathy cards from when Curt's great-grandpa died, bicycle license plate, every single basketball uniform, every single report card, marble coaster, health & safety project from elementary school, yearbooks, diplomas from elementary school & high school, programs from high school reunions, and every single Elkhart Truth newspaper clipping of Curt in 4-H and of Curt and Chad when they played basketball (Curt) and football (Chad) in high school.
10. Curt's dad loved him more than I realized. Rex was not the type who was verbal with his emotions or even in attendance at many of Curt's childhood events. Yet Rex loved Curt, more than I ever knew.
    

Bitter/Sweet

We are definitely experience both bitter and sweet emotions this weekend. As we grieve the death of Curt's dad, we rejoice in new life. Curt's brother and his wife welcomed a baby girl this afternoon. Coming more than three weeks early, she is small but healthy. Cassidy Alisa arrived today at 3:38 pm, weighing 5 pounds, 9 ounces.

As we reflect on a whirlwind weekend, we can see God's hand in all of this. Chad was in a difficult position where he wanted to come to his dad's funeral, yet was worried about leaving his wife, who was experiencing complications from the pregnancy and was warned that premature labor could begin at any moment. Although Chad has had a lot of stress with losing his dad yet gaining a daughter within a 26-hour period, God's divine plan has now freed him to come say goodbye to his father. I am so thankful for God's hand in all of that.

We did not know what to expect as a blended family made arrangements and planned a funeral. But again, God's hand has been in everything. Curt, his stepmom, stepbrother & his wife, and half-sister have all come together to love and care for each other as we go through the process of planning our goodbyes. When we first started talking about arrangements last night over at Curt's dad's house, his stepmom asked Curt if he would take care of finding a funeral home and if everything could be back in Wakarusa, where Rex's roots are. We are so thankful we were able to have a married couple from our small group be our funeral directors. What a blessing they have been! Our small group has also shown their love by providing us with meals every night this week, as well as providing dinner for the family at the funeral home during the viewing. When Curt's family heard that a group of people they had never met were doing this, they were in tears. That is love. Other extended family members, as well as Curt's mom and aunt, are showing their love by planning the funeral dinner. Again, love in action. It has been a true testament of Christ living in these people to Curt's family. They are speechless and so amazed at the outpouring of love from people they do not know. Thank you, all of you, for not only loving us, but for loving our extended family.

Viewing Times

Please note viewing is 2-4 and 6-8 pm. It is now corrected in my previous post. I'm sorry! A little crazy here.

Arrangements

Viewing for Rex Flickinger will be Wednesday, October 14th from 2-4 and 6-8 pm at the Thompson-Lengacher Funeral Home in Wakarusa. Funeral will be Thursday, October 15th at 11 am at Wakarusa Missionary Church.

Everything was set back a day because Chad's wife went into early labor this morning. She is three weeks early, but the doctors feel the baby will be big enough and should be healthy. Because Curt's brother lives in Columbus, Ohio, we decided to set everything back a day to give him more time to bring his wife and baby home from the hospital before he makes the 5 hour drive back here. It has definitely been a crazy 2 days!

Sad News

Curt's dad passed away earlier this afternoon. He died from "overwhelming infection" that set in due to his body being so weak from chemotherapy. He has been battling bone cancer for over 4 years, and had just finished a course of chemo. His white blood cell count was so low, and infection set in. He wasn't feeling well yesterday, so went to the doctor, who then admitted him into the ICU. This morning, he was alert and talking to the nurses, but then everything happened so fast. His breathing slowed, thus needing a ventilator, then his heart failed, and after 40 minutes of CPR, there was a faint heartbeat, yet the medical staff knew it wouldn't last long and called the family in to say their goodbyes. Curt did get to talk to his dad, but is unsure how much his dad could actually hear or understand.

We are finalizing funeral arrangements tomorrow afternoon. Viewing will be Tuesday evening with the service on Wednesday. Exact times will be determined tomorrow.

Curt's dad leaves behind Chad (Curt's older brother), his wife Sandy, and their children Cheri (21), Corey (16), and Codey (almost 15).

I'm Such a Dork

For the last 300 miles, I have been driving around with my camera in my purse, waiting for that moment when my odometer turns from 99,999 to 100,000 miles. As the big event crept closer, I would check it every morning on the way to school, and every evening on the way home. As this week progressed, I knew Friday would be the big day.

So this morning, I drove to school. And wouldn't you know it would be the one day in the last 300 miles that I didn't look at my odometer. When I remembered later on, it read 100,004 miles. I'm such a dork for two reasons:

1. I forgot to check the odometer today.
2. I actually wanted to take a picture of it.
   

Fundraiser

How many of us are being overwhelmed by fundraisers right now? I know I am. Every time I turn around, my kids bring home another form, we receive a letter, or someone calls us asking for an evening to share their ministry to us. And we're not even a business. I know our area businesses are getting slammed right now. My husband's company, who has always been very generous in supporting their community and church, have received several fundraising letters from churches, schools, clubs, and athletic teams asking for a donation. And that's just this week. Not only are business getting bombarded with requests for money, but so are individual households. As a family who is being significantly affected by this economy, we don't have much money to spare. We wish we could give to every ministry or person who asked. We wish we could support every child who knocks on our door selling something, but we can't. Yet one thing that we can give is our time.

Giving time is the best fundraiser, and I have an opportunity for you to give a small sliver of your time to a very worthy cause. This fundraiser costs you nothing, but has the potential to earn $6000 for 45 choir students who are traveling to NYC in February to sing at Carnegie Hall. Yeah, Carnegie Hall. What an honor! Of course, no high school kid (or their families) have the funds to pay for this, but you can help them earn $6000 towards their trip. And it costs you nothing.

On Saturday morning, from 8 am - 3 pm at NorthWood High School, the Ford Motor Company is holding a fundraising event where they will donate $20 for each test drive (must be 18, one test-drive per household). We have 200 people coming, but need 100 more. So come on out and help our choir students earn $6000 by giving us a few minutes of your time. If you want it to cost less of your time, come in the morning between 8 am and 11 am. You could whip on through in a matter of minutes, helping us earn $20 for your time. $20 that cost you nothing.

And one last incentive - cookies! Yes, the high school cafeteria ladies are making cookies. These are the best cookies ever! So by giving 15-30 minutes of your time, you get free cookies and we get $6000.

And did I mention it costs you nothing? Now that's my kind of fundraiser. Free money.

Favre From Feeble

I know most of you are probably sick of hearing about Brett Favre. I'm not. I don't know why I find him so fascinating. Maybe because he's the same age as my husband. Maybe because his athletic feats remind all of us that we are only as old as we let ourselves be. Maybe because he is living every man's dream, especially every thirty/forty-something man's dream. I don't know, but I think it is awesome that he's still got it. And for those of you who have been critical of Favre, you know that if you could still be paid millions of dollars to play a professional sport at his age, you would do it too. So quit cutting him down.

So I had been anticipating last night's game for a long time. Not being one to like commercials, I set the Tivo to tape the game, got the kids in bed, and then snuggled up on the sofa to watch the studliest 39-will-be-40-on-Saturday guy throw a pigskin and embarass his former team.

And that he did. However, me, a warm blanket, and a comfy sofa do not go well together. We usually just end up falling asleep. Which is what happened. Every few minutes, my husband would call over to me to fast forward through the commercials, thus waking me out of my slumber. I would then catch the beginning of the next play, only to return to my slumber. My husband suggested I just go up to bed and sleep in peace, not being awaken every time a commercial comes on.

I told him I wanted to fall asleep watching Brett Favre play. It's not a crush. It's a fascination.

Disappointment

Tonight, I have to disappoint two of my kids by letting them know they will not be wrestling this year. They wanted to last year, but we quietly let the registration date come and go. This year, they have been bugging me about it for an entire month. Well, the boss decided last night that we cannot fit it in, and that our family was more important than their activity. Here's what we have going on this week:

Tonight:

• Drew swim practice 5:15-6:45 pm
• Swim team parent meeting 5:45-6:30 pm
• Nicole basketball practice 6:30-7:30 pm
• I have to get to the store sometime tonight to get food & props for Nicole's State presentation at school, plus get basketball shoes for the girl.

Tuesday

• Drew swim practice 5:15-6:45 pm
• Nicole basketball practice 5:00-6:15 pm
• Nicole ortho appointment 4:20-5:20 pm
• Curt basketball game 7:30-8:45 pm

Wednesday

• Nicole & Drew Younger Generation rehearsal 3:00-4:15
• Whole family church 6:45-8:15 pm
• Curt & Shelley work Upward table 6:30-7:00 pm
• Shelley rehearsal 8:15-10:00 pm

Thursday

• Drew swim practice 5:15-6:45 pm
• Nicole basketball practice 6:30-7:3 pm
• Brock & Ryne basketball clinic 6:00-7:00 pm
• Elementary school open house 6:00-8:00 pm
• Lauber baby shower 6:00-8:30 pm

Friday

• Drew swim practice 5:15-6:45 pm

Saturday

• Shelley work SAT testing 7:30 am-12:30 pm
• Calf sales all day

This is actually a light week. There are no swim meets or basketball games on the weekends. So with wrestling being 3 nights a week, we decided that our family schedule cannot take anything else right now. There will be tears tonight. I have been praying that God will prepare Brock & Ryne's hearts for the disappointing news.